In this episode of Leading Through Crisis, John Kippen shares his powerful story of surviving a life-threatening brain tumor, living with facial paralysis, and rebuilding confidence through creativity, magic, and human connection. This conversation is a profound reminder that resilience is built and crisis can become an opportunity for growth and impact.
Building Resilience, Confidence, and Human Connection
In this episode of Leading Through Crisis, John Kippen, a professional magician + resilience and empowerment coach, shares his powerful story of surviving a life-threatening brain tumor, living with facial paralysis, and rebuilding confidence through creativity, magic, and human connection.
He and Céline unpack practical tools for emotional regulation, mindset shifts, and navigating uncertainty without fear.
This conversation is a profound reminder that resilience is built and crisis can become an opportunity for growth and impact.
Whether you’re a business owner, executive, or leader navigating uncertainty, change, or burnout, this episode will challenge you to rethink failure, step outside your comfort zone, and reconnect with what truly matters.
Key topics covered:
▪️Leading through crisis vs. long-term adversity
▪️Building resilience and emotional regulation under pressure
▪️Confidence, failure, and mindset in leadership
▪️The power of authenticity and human connection
▪️Turning personal crisis into purpose and impact
A special offer for our listeners…
📘 Download John's bestselling book Playing the Hand You Are Dealt via johnkippen.com/freegift
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John Kippen is a Speaker, Professional Magician, and Resilience and Empowerment Coach whose motto is, “Being different is your superpower.“ John helps his clients challenge their limiting beliefs to achieve their dreams and bounce back quickly from adversity.
💻 Learn more at johnkippen.com or connect with him on Facebook and Instagram.
John Kippen: [00:00:00] make that connection human to human.
Céline Williams: Yeah.
John Kippen: It's so important. We're all so damn busy and we're all so preoccupied with our own lives that we forget our humanity. We forget how important relationships with friends and family are.
Judith: Welcome to the Leading Through Crisis podcast, brought to you by reVisionary. Exploring resilient leadership in a world of constant change. Every few weeks, Céline Williams — speaker, strategist, and trusted advisor to leaders navigating change — brings conversations that explore how to deal with the inevitable and perpetual shifts of leadership. These discussions reveal practical insights, thoughtful strategies, and stories of resilience to help you lead with clarity and calm.
Céline Williams: my guest today is John Kippen, a speaker, professional, magician, and most importantly, a resilience and empowerment coach. Welcome [00:01:00] John.
John Kippen: Thank you for having me, Celine.
Céline Williams: I'm very happy to have you
today and, uh, do not get a lot of magicians, or people who even claim to be magicians as part of the show.
So I'm, this is very unique and different. Very excited to hear your story, but before we jump in, as you already know, I always ask the question, the name of the podcast is Leading Through Crisis. When you hear that statement, what does that mean for you or what comes up for you?
John Kippen: You know, I've been a businessman all my life and, I've dealt with crises in my professional career.
But now I deal more with personal crises, working with people to build the resilience muscle. And after I thought about it, I realized that many of the same tools that I teach in my resilience and empowerment coaching program apply not just to overcoming adversity, but dealing with crisis.
The big difference, of course, between the two is that [00:02:00] crises tend to be short, shorter in length. You know, you have a crisis. It takes a day, a week, a month to get over it, and then you go, phew, okay, back to normalcy. Whereas overcoming adversity can be a much longer process and require a lot more introspection and a lot more work to overcome diversity.
Céline Williams: Yep. I think that's a very good distinction. And I think often it's never just one crisis. Quite often a crisis comes, we resolve it, we move through it, we lead through it, we process it, normalcy, whatever that is.
And then there's another crisis and then there's another crisis. So it's, whether we're defining it as change but it's different. Whereas adversity, is the same thing that is deeper and deeper to resolve it. It's not surface level different every single time.
That would be my [00:03:00] perspective in what you said.
John Kippen: I agree. You know, it's all about mindset. You know, you have a crisis come, well, you can deal with it in a couple different ways. You can get panic. You can start. Getting that feeling of warmth going through your body. The impending doom. You've got echo doom.
Céline Williams: Yep. We'll put some echo in just for fun. Okay, great, great, great.
John Kippen: Or you can look in as an opportunity to show who you are, to show your skillset, to show what you're able to do to solve that problem. You know, a crisis is just an opportunity to solve a problem, and the more experienced you are in doing that, the better you are able to handle that crisis and not let it affect you, not letting it stress you out.[00:04:00]
You know? So, you know, I have a whole bunch of tools, which if you give me the time, I'll share a brief outline that I help my resilience clients, with. That kind of put adversity, overcoming adversity, building resilience, dealing with crisis in perspective. You know, some people are born with it, some people aren't.
Céline Williams: Yeah.
John Kippen: And it's how we rebound from the crisis or whatever the adversity is, how we pick ourselves up by the bootstraps. you know, I don't think
Céline Williams: anyone really does, to be fair. Yeah. Right, right, right.
John Kippen: how we, you know, brush ourselves off and get up and move forward.
Yeah. And after the day is really the key, you know?
Céline Williams: Yeah, it is. There's a lot to be said for, even for those who are born with, [00:05:00] let's call it a higher level, a more, built in ability to rebound, to dust themselves off to whatever the case may be. There's still always opportunity for improvement, and there's opportunity to learn and grow and shorten the time of, between that initial reaction, because I go on about this all the time.
Our initial reaction is, our brain trying to keep us safe. Whatever that first reaction is, we are not in control of that, but we have to be able to recognize it and then do something productive with it, something that serves us ultimately. And the better we get at that, the faster we can identify it, the faster we can decide what to do.
That's, that's all the magic. So no matter where you are in the journey, you can always get better.
John Kippen: You know, it really comes down to self confidence.
Céline Williams: Tell me more about that.
John Kippen: Dealing with crisis and having that confidence to [00:06:00] know that no matter what the challenges, you have the skills to deal with them. You know, I talk about, emotional regulation, not panicking. You get that call that you dread, your boss calls you and says, okay, this is happening.
We need to deal with it right away. It's time sensitive. Drop whatever you're doing, and you're like,
take some deep breaths. Calm yourself down. And become centered. Do a little meditation, whatever. Get the anxiety outta your system somehow so that you can, you know, I always teach people a mantra. Everything's going to be okay.
Céline Williams: Mm-hmm.
John Kippen: Everything's transitory. [00:07:00] There's no crisis that very few crises that are gonna actually affect your who you are and, you know, other than some medical crisis that, you know, puts your health into danger.
Certainly. Just learning how to center yourself, relax, breathe, and clear your head is so important before you even can figure out what the next steps. You make yourself a to-do list. I gotta do this, and this, and this. But before you can organize those thoughts, you need to calm yourself down.
You know, it's so important. You can't go to the next step before you're centered. Ain't that the truth? And, and another thing that I talk about is talk it out with people you know, in a business arrangement. I [00:08:00] surround myself with people who are smarter than I am, or more adept at other aspects of the business.
So call the staff meeting and rally the troops. It's not just your crisis to solve, you get other people invested boy, you can do amazing things. Someone says, I have this idea, and they say the idea and you're like, why didn't I think of that?
That's perfect. Okay. You get to do that part. You know, just sharing the load of whatever that crisis is with a team is so important in everything you do. You know, even in personal relationships or whatever, you know, having a best friend or a parent or a counselor or a coach or a therapist that you can just call and say, okay, I'm [00:09:00] dealing with this thing.
It's driving me crazy. I need help. Making sense of it is, is just so crucial in dealing with any kind of crisis or adversity. Focus on what you can control yourself.
So many things are out of our control.
Céline Williams: Yeah,
John Kippen: forget about 'em. We can't do anything about 'em. Don't stress over something that's out of your control period. It doesn't get you anywhere except deeper in a deeper hole. Physical self-care. Take care of yourself. Exercise, eat right, especially when you're going through a stressful period of time, you know, fuel your body properly.
You'll clear your head, you'll be able to think [00:10:00] more intelligently and quicker and more creatively. Practice mindfulness. Try to be present. Don't dwell on the past or the future. Live in the now because that's where the crisis is. It's in the now And no, no matter what happened in the past that caused it, you've got a solution.
You've gotta come up with a solution to fix it. Now, in my book, which I'm gonna show you guys a copy, at the end of this podcast, there will be a link that I will share for all of you to download a PDF version.
Céline Williams: This is the teaser part of the
John Kippen: episode. This is the, the, the name of the book is Playing The Hand.
You Are Dealt Being a Gambler and a Magician. I thought it was appropriate to name it that, and, a little plug, one of my closest friends is [00:11:00] Jamie Lee Curtis, and she wrote the forward to the book. She's been a huge supporter of mine. That's another thing, you know, surround yourself with people who love you and who support you and don't judge you.
God, is that important? You know?
Céline Williams: Yeah.
John Kippen: You can't do it all by yourself, and you shouldn't expect to have to do that. I was a theater major in college and, I started out as the acting thing and I realized that wasn't for me. And then I got into the technical side of theater doing props and lighting and set design and so forth.
And one of my fondest stories, I was hired as prop master for a children's touring show called Stone Soup. And my first prop that I had to create was this vintage looking stand that would hold a pot of soup. I remember being in the scene shop with all the raw materials in them, standing there, [00:12:00] staring at 'em, not taking action, not trying anything frozen, completely frozen.
I had no idea what to do. And my instructor, Jerry Abbott, this guy from Kentucky wearing suspenders, always had a cigar hanging out of his mouth with this thick, thick Kentucky accent, said, John, I didn't take get a raise. Whatcha are doing, boy? And I looked up at Jerry and said, Jerry, I'm just having trouble getting started.
And the first thing he said is, John, get outta your fricking head. Try it. Try something. If it doesn't work, try something else. If that doesn't work, try something else. Alright? Take the four pieces of wood, put 'em together. All right. Take this piece of rope. Time around the top. Okay, hang a hook. You know, put more rope around the ends of [00:13:00] the rope, end of the ends of the, the sticks.
Okay? You have a tripod. Get outta your head. At that point I realized, wow, that wasn't so difficult after all. What was my preoccupation? So that I've developed and I help people come up with a positive trigger word. In my case, it's tripod. When I get to, a challenge in my life that seems overwhelming, I say tripod to myself and it's like magic.
What it does is it brings back all of those feelings that you had when you accomplished whatever it was in my case. Building that tripod and all of a sudden you feel this wave of confidence if you could do that, you could do anything. So many of [00:14:00] us finally get the courage to take action, move forward and try something, and we get on the other side of whatever that is.
And how many of you said to yourself, Hey, that wasn't so bad after all. You know, it's the fear of what happens if it doesn't work the first time. There is no failure. There's just education. And once you really understand that, that failure is just a mindset and it's an opportunity to be creative, that's really where it's what it's all about in becoming a creative problem solver.
So, grew up in Los Angeles in the San Valley. Two great parents, both attorneys, they sent me to the, best private school in town. I [00:15:00] was a lifer. I was there from kindergarten through 12th grade, had great friends, was dating, having a good time.
And I started, building a computer consulting company right outta college. And everything was going great. You know, I bought a house, was in a good relationship, having the time of my life, everything was going well, and boom. I woke up one morning with ringing in my ear and that ringing turned to dizziness.
And that dizziness became so bad that every standing and walking moment I had to hold on. And, after seeing numerous doctors, they finally found a ear, nose and throat doctor that was part of my medical plan and said, John, alright, we don't know what it is. Let's get an MRI. So [00:16:00] then I had to deal with the, oh my God, I'm claustrophobic, how I'm gonna deal with the tube?
Céline Williams: Mm-hmm.
John Kippen: And I, you know, I found a way through that, you know, and I remember, after the 45 minute MRI going to the front desk and telling the receptionist, you know, that set of films you just printed, how much for those films. The receptionist said, no, no, no, John, no. Those go to the radiologist. And the radiologist reads them and then writes a report and a few days your doctor having the report.
And I said, no, no, no, no, no. You can always print a second copy with the radiologist. How much for that set of films right there? And she didn't know. So she called someone in the back office, they said $300. I pulled out my credit card and I bought those films, and I immediately drove to my ENT without an appointment.
And I walked through the window, walked through the door, and fortunately he saw me through the, the window and saw the, expressed [00:17:00] the, the expression on my face. And I hold, held up the films. And he said, come on. And he, and he pulled out one of the films and put it up on the little lightboard and, and, the color drained from his face.
And he said, John, I, I think I see something. I, well, I don't exactly know what it is, but I, I'm gonna make an appointment with you, with a specialist in downtown LA at the, your clinic downtown. And, they're able, I was able to get them to see you tomorrow. So take these films with you tomorrow and go and meet with this doctor and you'll be in good hands and God bless.
And so I met my parents for lunch and they wanted to know what had happened and I said, the doctor saw something and I'm going downtown and, gonna see what it's all about. And the mistake I made in that is, you know, when you're going in for a [00:18:00] serious conversation with a doctor, bring someone with you.
Don't go by yourself because. I remember sitting there on the examining bench, you know, with the crinkling tissue paper under my butt, and the doctor comes in and looks at your MRI and he calls in a neurosurgeon and they look at the MRI and they chat for a minute. And it's like, you're watching a movie, right?
And then the neurosurgeon walks out and the surgeon turns around and says, John, you have a four and a half centimeter acoustic neuroma brain tumor. And the reason you're dizzy is it's displacing your brainstem and it's killing you. I've already called and arranged to move another patient, and you're getting operated on a week from today.
It's gonna be a 14 to 17 hour surgery. You're gonna go permanently deaf in your left ear, and we're gonna do our best, preserve your facial nerve, but there's a chance [00:19:00] that something's gonna happen to your facial nerve, and you'll be left with facial paralysis. They left the room, no bedside manner. That doctor.
Céline Williams: Yeah.
John Kippen: And now my brain is focusing on confusion. I couldn't remember one thing he said.
Céline Williams: Of course,
John Kippen: because I'm in shock.
Céline Williams: Yep.
John Kippen: You know, doctors don't like you to record them for legality purposes. So bring someone with, you can take notes. So when you have that question, like, how long did you say the surgery was gonna be?
What was the recovery gonna like? They can go to their notes and say, oh, okay. You said 14 to 16 hours, so you're not second guess yourself. You need that support system. When going through any kind of medical thing. So anyway, fast forward the week. They're rolling me into Surgery, laying naked on the table with A [00:20:00] sheet over me.
I get to the pre-op area. I remember the nurse saying, John, do you want us to shave your head before you're under or after? And I'm like, after, please. And she said, okay. And then all of a sudden there's this doctor with a mask, of course, looking down at me. He said, John, my name is so-and-so.
I'm your anesthesiologist. And I just, my office called me and told me that unfortunately, I'm not covered in your insurance plan. So here's a form I need you to sign, saying that you will pay my bill, period. Now, of course, I was born to do attorneys, so I knew that that was. Signing under duress. So I knew that I would never have to pay that bill, so I gladly signed it because she had my life in her hands.
Céline Williams: Yeah.
John Kippen: You know?
Céline Williams: Yeah.
John Kippen: So they rolled me into surgery. The next thing I know, I'm waking up in surgical recovery, and it was like I was [00:21:00] 30 meters deep in a pool trying to get to the surface, trying to get to the surface, and I could hear these faint, John, John of my parents calling my name. And finally I came sort of to, and, my dad was sitting on the side of the bed holding my hand, and I looked at his face, and he has this great smile.
He was smiling. And so then I, I looked around the room and I was expecting to see my mom, but I didn't see her. So I asked for my glasses and I, all of a sudden, at that point, I realized that my head was damaged. I looked across the room and my mom was standing there with this look of horror on her face.
And what was going through her mind is, what did these butchers do to my poor son John's face? And I realized after many years of retrospective, that was the beginning of the loss of [00:22:00] self-confidence. Hmm. You know, my own mom was so surprised and just hurt by looking on my face. What were strangers gonna think?
Céline Williams: That's the person who's supposed to love you unconditionally and never judge.
John Kippen: And to see that, look on my mom's face, man, it, it made an impression. Yeah. You know, and I didn't realize that, you know, I asked for her compact mirror makeup compact, and I kind of looked and I was, oh. And then, you know, the doctor came in and I said, what's going on with my face?
And he said, oh, be patient, John. When we closed, we just think that the, there's some swelling. As soon as the swelling goes down, the, the facial nerve will start working again. So I'm like,
Céline Williams: whew.
John Kippen: But as you can see, 27 years later, it never came back. So, owning a it co consulting company and I could do a lot of [00:23:00] the work remotely and talk to people on the phone and so forth, I wasn't constantly being, judged by my looks.
Céline Williams: Mm-hmm.
John Kippen: You know, and, I was able to function, I was able to do my job, but I didn't have joy. I was missing so many really. Fun events, you know, high school reunions, college get togethers, any kind of relationship with, with friends. I just, I was grabbed by with the way I looked and having to explain it and, you know, and I turned the playing poker because at a poker table, no one cares what you look like.
They just want your money. And then I started developing these friendships with these degenerate gamblers, and I'm like, that's, that's not who I wanna surround myself with. So as a kid, magic was my passion. And so I must have the courage to join the Magic [00:24:00] Castle, which is a private club for magicians and their friends and guests in Hollywood.
And slowly but surely, I started performing a trickier trick there. And then I developed a. 20 minute routine that I could sit down at that table and, have people come and sit down. And I would perform. And as I performed, you know, people were a little distracted by my case. Ah, did he have those ballsy?
Did he have a stroke, whatever? And it, it led to them not enjoying and not being in the moment as much to enjoy the magic. So I start my show every time saying Hi. Hi guys. My name is John. I'm doing magic since I was a kid. But in 2002 I had a brain tumor. And when they cut off my head to get the brain tumor, they traumatized my facial nerve and it's the paralyzed face.
But something happened to me when I was on the operating room table. I'm not sure what it was [00:25:00] because I was unconscious. But all I know is I recovered. I realized I have acquired some new skills and then I pause. And I wait for the audience to get on the edge of their chair waiting to hear what kind of magic, what kind of skills I could have gotten from having brain surgery.
And I look to my left and my right and whisper in a loud voice, like it's the biggest secret guys. I am able to visualize people's thoughts and that's when I start doing mental magic mentalism. Or if someone, writes something down, I'm able to reveal that in real creative ways. And all of a sudden now they're intrigued.
You know, they don't necessarily believe that story about doctors. In my brain actually triggering. [00:26:00] You know, we only use what, 10% of our brain triggering another 20% of my brain to be able to do some of these amazing things. What it did was, it answered the question that they didn't want to ask, but it was preoccupied.
So now I had their undivided attention. They could look me on my face, into my heart, into my storytelling and see me for who I was and enjoy the experience without that distraction. And now they're interested, you know, and, and slowly I started to realize that my facial difference didn't need to define me if I didn't let it.
You know, I tell a story about, I hid from cameras and mirrors for over 12 years. And, finally I came to understand, I went to a magic invention in 2017 in Las Vegas. And I was amongst the greatest minds in magic. And I [00:27:00] decided to muster the courage to take pictures with these great magicians.
I got home and I uploaded them to my computer. And it dawned on me if these great minds and magic had no trouble taking a picture with me, what was my problem? And that was really the mind shift. I stopped caring what other people thought. Funny story. So we get to the pandemic, you know?
Mm-hmm. And now we were forced to wear face masks. So now hiding your face becomes not only politically correct, but government mandated. I had just spent 12, 13, 14 years learning how not to hide my damn face. So I found a company online and I sent 'em a picture of my mouth and sure enough, they printed a picture of my mouth on my mask, and I would walk around with that [00:28:00] mask and strangers just would look at it and not understand.
But people who knew me would look at it, do a double tank without me having to say a word. They were like, holy cow, John refuses to hide even through a global pandemic. You know? So, you know, that's who I am. I live my life, looking for opportunities to do something creative. I just do.
Instead of asking for permission, I ask for forgiveness if someone doesn't like what I'm doing, and yes, that's bitten me in the butt a couple times,
Céline Williams: of course
John Kippen: but it has given me opportunities. One of my, one of my proudest achievements when Alex Trebek came out on national television and talked to his fans to the world [00:29:00] and said, guys, I have pancreatic cancer and I don't know what's gonna happen and I'm scared, but I know you care for me and you love for me, and I'm gonna get through this and hopefully I'll be back before you know it.
That touched me really deeply, and I reached out to his family. I found his daughter, Nikki, and said, Nikki, I need to perform for your dad. I've had experiences in helping people go through life changing medical conditions, cancer, facial paralysis, whatever. And giving your dad 30 minutes, 45 minutes, not having to think about his problem was the biggest gift I could give.
And I remember after the show, you know, Alex was sitting there as my [00:30:00] assistant, and there's on my website, john kippen.com. There, there are a couple of video clips of me performing for Alex. And, it's interesting, he, he, wanted to know how everything was done. That's how Alex's mind worked. So he was constantly, you know, peeking and looking behind and he, he didn't catch anything, but he was frustrated a couple times and he even threatened to kick my butt if.
Something happened. Mm-hmm. But afterwards, after the show, he and I went off to another room and I shared that I reached out to him and his family because of what he meant to me. You know, he one of these celebrities that's above reproach, unlike the Matt Lauers of the world, you know, someone we grew up with.
We may not have watched Jeopardy every day at seven 30, but it was on in the kitchen. He was an idol of ours He was a mentor. He [00:31:00] was so damn smart and so caring and so giving of his time. And I said, Alex, I don't know. I venture to say that people don't take the time to say thank you for that.
And he started misting up and he was like, John, no. No one ever says thank you for my life's work. And I said, I had a feeling. So let me be one of the people, one of the few that takes the time to just say thank you for who you are and what you've contributed to the world. You know, just, I would never have gotten that opportunity if I didn't seek it out.
You know, no one was gonna seek me out and call me up and say, Hey, will you perform for my dad's 75th birthday party? No. That would never have happened if I didn't. Just not take no for an answer and just do it. And [00:32:00] those are some of our most cherished life experiences that fill our heart with joy and fill others' hearts with joy that allow us to leave our mark in the world.
Céline Williams: You have a fascinating story. And I think it's a testament to resilience and building confidence and taking those risks, right?
The asking for forgiveness rather than permission, whatever that looks like. And stepping into what you want. And it may not always happen, to your point, you've been bitten in the ass a few times like we all have, but you don't know if you don't try. The Wayne Gretzky quote that has always said is, you miss all of the shots you don't take.
John Kippen: Right.
Céline Williams: Right. And. Yeah, that's a well-known quote for a reason. 'cause it is if you don't try, it's never going to happen. It may not [00:33:00] happen anyways, but if you don't try, it's definitely not going to happen. Yes. So what is, what's the risk? What's really, what's, you know, I imagine the work that you do similar to what I do is I'm often asking people, what's the worst thing that could happen if you try?
What's the worst? Yeah. If, and if you think about it, it's rarely, no one's gonna die. You're not gonna lose all your money the worst is rarely that bad.
John Kippen: That's why I try to remove the word try from my vocabulary.
Céline Williams: You try to remove the word try.
John Kippen: I do. Well, thank you.
Céline Williams: Listen, I appreciate that. It's, it's you.
John Kippen: You caught me. You caught. I strive to remove the word try. 'cause, try leaves open the, the potential for failure. And there is no failure. There's [00:34:00] learning from an unexpected outcome.
Céline Williams: Yeah.
John Kippen: And looking at it from every which way, but loose. And doing it again, buying another approach.
So, you know, I, I, I, I don't believe failure, failure is a mindset. Failure is up here.
Céline Williams: I could not agree with that more. I am not a fan of the word try, but I'm more so not a fan of the idea of failure because I think. If we can shift our mindset from into anything that doesn't work, any mistake is an opportunity to learn, then we stop focusing on the failure and we stop thinking about trying, which is really just a way to not take responsibility or accountability and not [00:35:00] actually take any action.
Yeah. Because we say try, I tried when there was no action. You thought about it, you made a plan and then got scared and didn't do anything. Well, that's not trying and let's just call it what it is,
John Kippen: and it gives you, an excuse to go back into your comfort zone.
Céline Williams: Absolutely. And don't we all love our comfort zones?
John Kippen: We do. And they're called comfort zones for a reason. Growth doesn't come from your comfort zone. No.
Céline Williams: Nope. Growth comes
John Kippen: from going outside of your comfort zone. Even. Even this far doesn't have to be a huge step. Can be a little step.
Céline Williams: Yep. I imagine that's where a lot of the work around empowerment specifically that you do comes in is [00:36:00] how do you, you know, whether it's identifying your comfort zone and stepping out of it, but also building that muscle to take those steps.
To bind that empowerment, whatever that is for each individual. 'cause it is different for all of us.
John Kippen: You know, as kids, we dream a lot and we imagine a lot. Perfect example. You know, where you're with your parents, you're five or six or seven years old, and they have some friends come over.
And what happens? The friend says, Hey Celine, how are you? What do you want to be when you grow up? And my answer was, I don't know. I still wanna be a fireman. No, I wanna be policeman. No, I wanna be an astronaut. No, wait, wait, wait. I wanna be a rock star. And then I would go into my room and I would get two sticks, two [00:37:00] rulers, and I'd start drumming on stuff and playing my air guitar.
And now I'm into this world of imagination and make believe and dreaming of what I could do with my life and where I could be and so forth. And then at some point in your life,
you get comfortable. You stop dreaming and you settle for the status quo, and you may, all right, you got enough money to put a roof, over your head and you're not struggling. You're not working paycheck to paycheck and you're in a relationship and you got kids. And you know, so many friends of mine that I'll, I'll meet up with and I say, how's it going?
And their pat answer is Living the dream without stopping. I always say, yeah, but is it your dream or somebody else's, [00:38:00] your living? And every once in a while you catch someone to the light bulb go off and you see that light bulb moment. They're like, holy crap. I'm living my mom's dream.
Céline Williams: Mm-hmm.
John Kippen: I'm living my partner's dream.
I am living my teacher's dream I forgot what it was. What, what it was like to sit there and before you go to sleep, close your eyes and think about without any limitations, who would you be? What would you be doing? What would bring you joy? In my opinion, the meaning of life is to find as many moments filled with joy for you and people around you.
That's the meaning of life, period. No matter if we're religious or whatever, we believe in heaven or hell or whatever, the time we have on earth should be [00:39:00] measured in moments of joy. 'cause that's when you get to be yourself. That's when you get to share who, what makes you, you. Your passions in your life.
You know, when magic, you know, and I would sit with people and I would make the magic about them and put them on the pedestal and focus completely and be present with them. They immediately would light up. I tell this story that one night I was at the Magic Castle looking for a group to do a show, and this woman was walking down the hallway.
She was red dressed in all baggy black clothes, wearing a hat that reminded me of a witch's hat. She was just looking at the ground as she was walking, and as she approached, I said, hi, how are you? And she stopped and she gave me this look that said, just [00:40:00] leave me the heck alone. And then continued following, walking downstairs to get up with her friends.
Well, I didn't take that as a. Reason to not catch up with them. So I caught up with the group and I said, hi guys. How are you having a good time? Oh yeah, this is amazing. I said, yeah, but have you seen any good closeup magic? Everyone? Come on. I took him over to a little green table and I sat there and they sat around it and I put the woman dressed in baggy black clothes.
Her name was Darren, and I put her to my right, and I made every magical moment about her. My goal for that 30 minute performance was to get her to smile, because I could tell she brought some baggage with baggage to the castle with her. That night was totally preoccupying and she wasn't having a good time.
So every magical moment I made about her, and all of a sudden she started sitting up straight [00:41:00] and she ditched that funny looking hat and she started to smile and her eyes started to dance. And I could tell the baggage was gone, at least for that moment in time. And I finished my show and they applauded and so forth.
And normally guests would applaud it, tip me, not tip me, whatever, and they'd go on and move on. But these guys wanted more. So I shared the story with them about how I hid from cameras and mirrors for 12 years because I didn't like my face and I was self-conscious about it. And I told them the story about going to that magic convention where all of a sudden it dawned on me that it was me who was keeping me from finding joy in life that other people could cared less, especially when they knew why your face was paralyzed.
Judgments went out the window and they treated you like anybody else, you know? And that's when she stood up [00:42:00] and she motioned for me to stand. And I did. She gave me one of these hugs that you don't seem forget. It's like. You haven't seen your brother in 30, 20 years. Right? And she was holding for an on for dear life, and I'm enjoying it, but it's, it was emotional.
And what seemed like an eternity was probably only two minutes. She stood back and she, she was crying and she looked up and said, John, I need to share something with you. Four years ago, I had a double mastectomy because I have the BRCA one gene and my mom, my aunt and my sister all had their breasts proactively removed.
And I was the last in the family to do that. And all of a sudden, I didn't want to be here. My friends had drug me to this place, I wasn't up for it, but whatever. And then I met you and I started enjoying your magic, and all of a sudden I realized that I was focusing on [00:43:00] your cool magic and your storytelling and who you were
I realized I was having an amazing time, and then I heard your story about how you hid phone, cameras and mirrors for 12 years, and I just realized that I've been hiding too by the clothes I wear and the funny hats and the weird looks and not making eye contact. And you just shaved eight years off of my journey of hiding.
And she promised herself with her friends and I myself as witnesses, that that would be the last night she would hide. So I fell back in my chair. I was completely overwhelmed. You know, my expectation was to have a good time and to get this girl to smile, period. I had no idea. I would, my story and my magic would touch her so profoundly.
And she excused her. She had been crying since she went to the bathroom to [00:44:00] wash her face. And one of her friends was sitting there and she said, John, you don't understand what just happened. We've known Darren since college and we have been trying to support her for the last four years through the recovery and, coming to terms with the fact that she had a double mastectomy and you did in 30 minutes what we've been trying to do for four years.
And I get goosebumps every time I tell that story because I found a gift of being my authentic self, caring about an individual, focusing my a hundred percent attention on them, and celebrating their differences. Celebrating who they are is so rewarding, you know, and that's why I love. Being a coach. You know, [00:45:00] when I started out, I got certified as a life coach.
You know, what the hell is a life coach? You know, there are nutrition coaches and exercise coaches and then there's life coaches, and I'm like, no. So I coined the term resilience and empowerment coach and I Googled it, and there aren't that many people who position themselves as resilience and empowerment coaches through the study of my life and figuring out what makes me tick, how I became successful, how I became okay with my facial paralysis.
I engineered this program that helps people basically get outta their own damn way.
Céline Williams: The thing we all need.
John Kippen: Yeah. We all get in our own way. Yep. [00:46:00] Imagine the possibility is that we could just step aside and let our true self move forward.
Céline Williams: I mean, we could change the world.
John Kippen: Yeah. And boy, this world needs changing.
Céline Williams: Amen to that.
John Kippen: Politics aside, no matter what side of the aisle you're on, we are not in a good place.
Céline Williams: Nope.
John Kippen: You know, we're about to go into a military conflict with the Middle East. We don't belong there. It's just the economy is in the toilet, you know?
We can't trust our leaders, and I'm, I'm not getting on a soapbox 'cause I know some of your listeners have different opinions.
Céline Williams: Of course.
John Kippen: That's fine.
Céline Williams: But I think no matter what side of the coin they're on, I think everyone recognizes [00:47:00] that the world needs to change and that we want better outcomes for the world, whatever that looks like.
And if we're not in our own way, we can change the world
John Kippen: one interaction at a time.
Céline Williams: Exactly.
John Kippen: You know, we vote for a leader and good, bad, whatever. We have to stand by that leader.
But we as individuals have the power to change the world by who we show up as.
You know, during the pandemic, I, I lost my relationship going through my journey because she couldn't deal with my facial paralysis. And, and I came to terms with that. But, so I lived with, just alone with my dog, you know? And, during the pandemic, I was lonely. So I invented this game called Rolodex Roulette.
Now, for your [00:48:00] listeners who are not old enough to know what a Rolodex is, it's this little spindle that you have little cards, and each one has a name and an address, and, and they're an alphabetical order, hopefully.
Céline Williams: Mm-hmm.
John Kippen: So, well, you play Rolodex is you go to your contacts and you turn your phone away, and you scroll up, and then you stop. You look at the name you stopped on and now you call that person and just said, Hey, Celine John Kippen. Who? What? Oh hi. You know, I just learned this friend, this game from my friend called rolodex roulette for that, and I was playing and I landed on your name.
Hey, how are you doing? It's been a long time, or we might have talked to them two days ago. It gives us a reason to reach out and with no other pretense other than making a connection with them [00:49:00] and being truly invested in how they are doing with no, Hey, look what I'm doing. No, it's about finding out what they're doing, what they're going through, and being supportive.
It's amazing the conversations that I had that started out being, why are you calling to, oh my God, an hour went by and they're like, man, was this a great conversation? Thank you so much. I'm gonna pay it forward. I'm gonna start playing this game. We all have these names in our context that we had a falling out with.
Céline Williams: Mm-hmm.
John Kippen: Many of which we don't remember why, but whatever. But it's, it's like, we don't want to be the person to reach out and try to mend that fence. No, we're gonna wait for them to call me. But Rolodex roulette gives you that plausible di deniability. [00:50:00] So you get that person on the phone, you say, Hey Joe, it's John Kippen.
Now before you start, I know we had a falling out. I learned this game. It's called Roll Rec, and the rules strictly say that you stay stop on a name and that's who you call. And you are in my contacts, so I'm calling you. How are you?
You would be amazed playing that game, how many friendships you can restore.
Céline Williams: I bet. I bet. I think that's a great, it's a very inspiring game for people to consider playing.
John Kippen: Oh God, I play it weekly.
Céline Williams: I would be terrified to do that with my contact list because not only is it very out of date, but I probably have like random ac repair guy from years ago in there that I'd be like, maybe I won't call him.
But you know, [00:51:00] I love that you still play it weekly. Um, I think that's incredibly inspiring. Um. I hope the listeners hear that. And even if they don't know what a Rolodex is, go, huh? You can play that. That sounds like a good way to connect. Because in my experience, even if you are thinking of someone, if you haven't spoken to them in a while, we don't know what to say.
Whether it's someone that we call or we send a message on LinkedIn, we reconnect with someone we don't know what to say. It's been a while. Why would I reach out? So this is a great framework for doing that in any An icebreaker. Icebreaker, right? Just hint, hint, hint to anyone listening or watching.
John Kippen: And don't send them a text. Don't send them a one word. One sentence Email.
Don't, you know, call them, make that connection human to [00:52:00] human.
Céline Williams: Yeah.
John Kippen: It's so important. We're all so damn busy and we're all so preoccupied with our own lives that we forget our humanity. We forget how important relationships with friends and family are. You could talk to someone today and they could be dead tomorrow, you know?
Yeah. And there's, you know, I believe, you know, if someone crosses your mind, there might be a reason for that.
Céline Williams: I agree with that.
John Kippen: There might be a reason why they need your support right at that moment.
It's amazing how many conversations, oh my God, I was thinking about you too, I needed this. I so, so needed this,
Céline Williams: of course.
John Kippen: And it helps both of you.
Céline Williams: [00:53:00] Connection is an incredible salve for so many things.
John Kippen: It's all we have is our relationship with friends and family.
Céline Williams: Yeah.
John Kippen: Career doesn't matter really.
It's our relationships with people that truly builds your heart, builds your soul,
Céline Williams: yeah.
John Kippen: And brings you joy.
Céline Williams: I hate that, the truth. I wanna thank you for sharing so much of your story and so many inspiring stories and dropping so much wisdom in our time together. I could keep talking to you, and I'm sure you have a thousand more stories to tell.
And you are an incredible storyteller. And so I really just wanna thank you for all of that
John Kippen: book. In this book,
Céline Williams:
John Kippen: and the book has QR codes in it that you can, in the PDF version, you can just click on
Céline Williams: them. Yeah.
John Kippen: And it takes you to [00:54:00] a secret area of my website.
Céline Williams: Ooh.
John Kippen: Where you'll be able to see me performing for Alex Trebec.
Céline Williams: Very cool.
John Kippen: You'll see me doing, my Ted talk. I was invited to do a TED Talk and the topic was, treating people who are different with respect and compassion, and it has over a million views.
Céline Williams: Amazing. Congratulations.
John Kippen: Documentary that was filmed, John's Ultimate Illusion that Star CoStar gave me the Curtis.
You can find that in the book in my website as well. You know, it's all about seize the day carpe diem.
Céline Williams: Yeah.
John Kippen: Make a difference in someone else's life.
Céline Williams: It's very clear that that is what you're doing and continue to do. And the fact that you're doing it and living it and being the example is incredible.
John Kippen: Thank you. [00:55:00] That's why I love getting on these kind of podcasts.
Céline Williams: Getting to share the story,
John Kippen: share the story, and share the hope.
Céline Williams: Yep.
John Kippen: Share an alternate point of view.
Céline Williams: For anyone who is listening or watching, they can find out more about you@johnkippen.com and you teased out a secret.
John Kippen: Oh
Céline Williams: dear. Drink you. Oops. Oops. That's right.
John Kippen: Then let the cat out the bag, john kippen.com/free gift.
Céline Williams: Now that will not be in the show notes, so if you're listening or watching, come back to this moment to claim that free gift,
John Kippen: and there will be a form that you have to enter your name and email address and then you'll be able to download a copy of my bestselling book Playing The Hand You Are Dealt.
Céline Williams: Thank you, John. I appreciate you taking the time.
John Kippen: Thank you. [00:56:00] I hope we stay in touch.
Céline Williams: I'm sure we will.
Judith: You’ve been listening to Leading Through Crisis, hosted by Céline Williams and brought to you by reVisionary. To learn more, visit leadingthroughcrisis.ca. Connect with Céline on LinkedIn, and explore the show notes for resources and next steps. Until next time, keep leading with courage and clarity.